Underneath

Across the earth, from water-filled puddles and potholes to the vast oceans, a hidden world of things lies below the surface. We tend to fear what is underneath beds, rocks, houses, water, and wood piles. I have friends who refuse to swim in water where they can’t see if there are creatures stealthily lurking around them. Getting stung by a jellyfish one serious time can lead you to that conclusion.

Amidst the hidden things of the world is the under-the-surface part of the human being. For some people, the inner world is a very unknown and unexplored place. The hurt there can emerge with an emotional bite and sting at the most inopportune times.

As you serve people in need, you have probably experienced the range of emotions stirred up like a hurricane churning the ocean depths. These responses have an extensive continuum, from silent tears to explosive rage. Someone can be like permafrost or a volcano. The look of traumatic response can go from a sense of a person’s passivity toward getting better and stable, emotional outbursts, throwing a chair, to the most hopeless response of suicide.

It’s easy to make a statement like, “Their behavior just doesn’t make sense.” The fact is, these responses are very much about the senses. What we really mean with such an assessment is, “They just are not being logical.” Well, our being isn’t always logical. And that’s what we are talking about here, the human being. We can’t separate it all. Each of us is always the whole human package. Sometimes, the actions are unfathomable. Jaworski and Scott describe it as a possible “loss of agency.”[i]

A man from long ago had experienced a massive loss of family and possessions and was in pain from a skin issue. He had some friends who believed themselves to be helpful. They had essays of words to fix him if he would listen. In one of his responses to them, he asked, “Do you intend to reprove my words, and the speeches of a desperate one which are as wind?”[ii] His point was that hurting people say things that are fleeting and for the moment. Those words are an externalizing of the internal wrangling that is taking place.

When responding to human needs, there is this complexity of life's external and internal dual storms. Which storm was first is a matter of a person’s story. Life’s traumas can have an extensive, woven, and deep-reaching presence.

Trauma can be defined as:

• Severe shock caused by an injury
• Physical injury, usually caused by an accident or attack
• Severe and lasting emotional shock and pain caused by an extremely upsetting experience
• An intense adverse response to a situation experienced as harmful that can have a significant long-term negative impact on physical, day-to-day functioning, emotional, social, and spiritual well-being.

A person's current situation can create physiological responses originating from a past experience with deep and abiding impact. These responses can include muscle tension, shaking, weakness, pounding heart, dizziness and fainting, hyperventilation, and many more. These can then show up as externalized emotions such as terror, panic, rage, and even being shut down.[iii] This person’s trauma response can have nothing to do with you. You happen to be there at that moment.

Determining the causes of these trauma responses and triggers is not my point here. Awareness of the existence of and preparedness for the manifestation of trauma and pain is the point of this blog post. These internal distresses are being lived with, having never entirely dissipated, and can quickly elevate. It’s a fire that keeps smoldering; all it takes is a little fuel for a flare-up.

We can make some adjustments when we understand that the person in front of us is carrying the current situation and other life issues. Open emotional wounds and deep scarring are real. You may be carrying these traumas, too, by the way. Like fire ants, these traumas are hidden underneath until something drives them to the surface, where they often bite whoever happens to be there.

For a person in crisis, there is a feeling in and of the situation that may be like being surrounded by deep waters with no escape. These feelings easily exponentiate and lead to words and actions. The person doesn’t mean to be aggressive, but the feelings are real. The feeling in that moment may feel like another time when something even worse happened, a trauma that isn’t just history but an embedded memory.

Throughout my work of developing collaborative solutions to issues of human life, they all emerge from some trauma and can lead to further trauma. There is a compounding effect of quantity and intensity. Whether homeless families, eating disorders, suicide, or ethnic healing, the wounds are real, deep, and pervasive.

These trauma responses are just part of responding to human needs. Don’t try to dodge them or defend against them. Be aware and prepared so that you can disarm the moment. How you respond to a trauma response can make all the difference in the world.

Be Aware
In human services work, it is easy to be task-focused. We are working to meet the need and say, “Next!” However, we should always anticipate the possibility of people being in a triggered state when responding to human needs of all kinds. Even their response is based on a deep-level need for healing. You may not be able to assist in that healing, but you can avoid making things worse through your awareness.

People are complex, and their current circumstances can make them even more complicated. Bad things have happened to people over the course of their lives, and those traumas cause wounds. The craziest things can trigger memories, and the emotions of a memory can surface through something as simple as a fragrance or the style of someone’s eyeglasses. Think of your life story and those of others you have seen and heard.

When we think of someone being triggered or just the effects of trauma over time, we tend to think of more pronounced and even explosive expressions. But, sometimes, the way that trauma is shown is through a deadness that moves into a person’s life. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk notes, “In an effort to shut off terrifying sensations, they also deadened their capacity to feel fully alive.”[iv] What we translate as passivity and not caring can be a protective mechanism. Please don’t assume they don’t care. That person may be hurting deeply.

Sometimes, we are all plain tired. We have finite limits to our mental, emotional, and physical tanks. The draw on those tanks can be so bad in demanding times that the tank isn’t just at the bottom, but all of the air is sucked out, and the tank is crushing in. No more mental, emotional, or physical fortitude quickly leads to inadequate responses to difficulty. Because you work with suffering people, don’t be surprised by their empty-tank responses.

Be Prepared
How you and your team respond to this human need is significant. Responses that are helpful and not hurtful are the minimum here. We don’t have to be experts, but we should be people who clearly care and aim to calm. Be prepared to create an environment that feels safe, is firm but gentle as necessary, and always carries a sense of “I’m sorry you are in this place. Let’s see what we can do to help.”

Avoid the perfect storm of being triggered by the triggered person you are seeking to help. You may be strong, but you also may be wounded. You must be prepared to choose to turn a potential reaction in the moment into a wise response.

With that same “finite tank” idea from above in mind, a crucial question for your preparation is, “How are YOU?” Do you have wounds to heal and trauma triggers to work through with a counselor or therapist? How are you doing with managing your emotional tank, in particular? I speak to self-care in my blog post, Holding out Hope.[v] It is challenging to handle the pressure of another person’s triggered moment when you have nothing to give.

Well-intentioned kindness is not always well received. I’ve had someone who had been traumatized in several ways respond to my kindness with a cold look and the words, “Don’t do that.” I responded with an approving head nod and said, “Okay.” I wasn’t offended. That moment wasn’t about me. I had no right to make it about me.

Work on your referral system for these wounded neighbors. Who are trusted counselors and therapists who use trauma-informed approaches? Build the knowledge base, trusting relationships, and communication lines necessary for effective partnership. Then, utilize CharityTracker, a shared online case management database, which provides versions with a built-in means for these referrals. [vi] To best utilize this feature, establish official partnerships with organizations and support systems that those you serve need but you don’t provide.

It's easier to respond appropriately when you see it coming and know what to do than when caught off guard. We can live aware of and prepared for these storms. But, just like a storm in our physical world, even with all the prep possible, the storm can’t be stopped, and not all impacts can be prevented. But we can strive to be at our best and do our best when it arrives.

What’s difficult about the inner world of the human being is that it is hidden underneath. Hidden wounds can lead to our being unaware of and unprepared for potential trauma-rooted triggers and responses. Being aware and prepared is our responsibility when serving people in need and in crisis. Wisdom will invest in this underneath world for their good and your own.

Take a look at the action points below to help you, your team, and your community impact partners develop action plans that turn potentially unhelpful reactions in the moment into wise and helpful responses.

Action Points

• “How are YOU?” Do you have trauma triggers to work through with a counselor or therapist? Avoid the perfect storm of being triggered by the triggered person you are seeking to help.
• Meet as a team and discuss this blog and the details of being aware, prepared, and alert for the “underneath.”
• Find a nearby resource to train your team and community partners for helpful responses to the traumas your clients face.
• Learn about and utilize CharityTracker's Referrals feature. Develop the partnerships necessary to increase the effectiveness of your community’s referral system for responding to the needs of the whole human.

[i] Jennifer White, Ian Marsh, Michael J. Kral, and Jonathan Morris (Eds), Critical Suicidology. (Vancouver, BC: UBC Press, 2016).

[ii] Job, in the ancient book Job, written about his crisis story.

[iii] Peter Levine, Trauma and Memory. (Berkeley, California: North Atlantic Books, 2015).

[iv] Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score. (New York, New York: Penguin Group, 2014).

[v] https://www.charitytracker.com/en/blog/holding-out-hope

[vi] https://www.charitytracker.com/pricing https://help.simonsolutions.com/en/articles/1247068-plus-how-to-create-a-request-referral

Do you desire to strengthen your CharityTracker or OasisInsight network to new levels of collaboration and impact? Reach out to Chuck today to schedule your conversation: chuck@simonsolutions.com. 

Dr. Chuck Coward serves as Community Impact Specialist for Simon Solutions, Inc. Chuck has invested over 35 years in fostering human and community development from a variety of places and roles, including as a pastor, non-profit Executive Director, Director of Development, businessman, consultant, university professor, The Struggle Coach, and the founder of Entrusted Foundation. Serving to make people and communities stronger is his great passion. Chuck is the proud husband to Anita, dad to four, and granddaddy to eight.